By C.L. Beck
If you want to see how important writing is, just take a look around. Words are everywhere. For example, there are tee shirts with all kinds of sayings. One of my favorites (in light of having reached the ripe old age of plenty-nine) is “I’d rather be over the hill than under it”. Appliances all have instructions on the boxes. Steam iron manufacturers now list the caution, “Do not use while wearing clothes”. I find that advice to be a little ambiguous. I can't decide if it means you should iron naked, or you shouldn’t iron the clothes while on your body.
Luckily for writers, the written word is in our mail, on our televisions (oh, yes, you know you’ve been reading that little ticker tape at the bottom of CNN), as well as imprinted on our sunglasses and license plates frames. Hey, it’s even in our underwear! For the moment, though, I’d like to ignore the underwear (not wearing it, just writing about it) and concentrate on the advice given on the rear of vehicles.
The other day, my husband, Russ, and I were driving along reading the license plate frames of passing cars, and we came up with our own list of original slogans:
If you don’t like my driving … get off my windshield.
This vehicle powered by 350 horses … watch out for exhaust.
Mountain Heights Hospital … your link to eternity.
My lawyer’s smarter than your lawyer … go ahead and hit me.
My grandkids … are kinda homely. Can I have one of yours?
Pass with caution … blind driver.
He who dies with the most toys … has toddlers at home.
My child is a proud graduate … of the Utah State Correctional Facility Cooking School.
How do you expect me to soar like an eagle … when I’m a big chicken.
Friends don’t let friends drive … over other people.
(And my personal favorite, which only women would understand.) You toucha my car, I breaka you … fingernail.
I’m sure all these slogans have inspired at least one for you, so I’m running a contest. Submit your own, original slogan(s) as a comment on this blog. The best entry—as determined by me; my husband, Russ; my dog, Corky Porky Pie; and whomever else I designate—wins a genuine, almost two inches tall, never-before-used-in-a-bathtub, RUBBER DUCKY!
Please note that, despite the photo shown above, your ducky will not have been sitting in a mud puddle. The ducky shown is a professional model/actor who has been hired for this photo shoot.
Contest is subject to rules and regulations as governed by the great State of Utah … blah, blah, blah ... contest ends February 28, 2007.
(I’m sorry I won’t be able to respond to every entry personally, but be assured that in my heart, I’m laughing at yours.)