Valentines All Over the Hedge or Was That Edge?

By G.Parker

Do you remember when Valentines Day used to be an event? We spent the week before planning, pasting, cutting and marking our way into someone’s heart. Now we go to the store to buy pre-made little ditties that are usually based off some recently released movie for kids. And cards for adults? They cost over a $1 a card…and then they don’t usually come across with the message you want.

Enter the e-card world. I spent half the day today trying to find the right card to send to my husband. Something that was animated as well as fun and cute. Romance is nice, and I like romantic cards as much as the next woman. But my husband likes fun and something that makes him chuckle. Men can be romantic, but let’s face it; if we make them laugh, they’re going to be much more willing to put up with the romance we want.

There appears to be a lot of room out there for good greeting-card writers. I don’t think half of the existing ones are using imagination or creativity. I mean, just take a look at the selection I picked up for my son’s valentines for school. Taken from the Over The Hedge movie, they are cutesy little pictures of the Over The Hedge gang with dippy little phrases like: "I’m Hedge over Heels for you!" or "Have a Nutty Day" or "You’re Crazily Fun!" How about, "Have a Turtlelicious day!" Turtlelicious isn’t even a word!

Okay, I realize I’m coming down a little hard on a multi-million dollar industry that ranks third behind Christmas and Halloween in the amount of money spent on it…but it just rankles the writer’s heart. I know lots of people who could come up with better wishes than these.

I was going to have a contest for this, but we already have one going. Since we're also planning a couple for March, I’ll desist and wait to see if you leave samples in your comments. Anyway, for grins, here are some little verses I think would work for Valentine’s Day cards.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Since we both hate candy

Let’s go buy some shoes

The balloons may pop

Tomorrow

The flowers may die

In three days

But the love that I have

In my heart

Will last for you always