By C.L. Beck
Technology befuddles me. I think that's a gal thing—meaning women are genetically predisposed to never understand technological instructions. Why? Because they’re usually written by men.
Most gals instinctively grasp the important things in life—like how to shave their underarms with a dull, albeit pink-colored razor and not end up wearing Band-Aids on their armpits for the next month. We understand how much fuzz we can let build up in the dryer’s lint trap before it sets the house on fire. We even know how to lick chocolate frosting off a sharp steak knife.
Okay, I take that last one back. Licking anything off a sharp knife generally gives you a forked tongue. This is fine if you want to resemble a boa constrictor, but otherwise …
What some of us (meaning me) don’t understand is a page of written instructions that makes no sense, and then when you finally figure them out, they still don’t work. It’s not the logic in the instructions that’s the problem. It’s the lack of it.
A couple of days ago, I wanted to post a picture into my blogging profile. According to knowledgeable sources—that would be either Paul Harvey or Sesame Street; I can’t remember which—it’s a good idea for a writer to have a photo of themselves on their blogging site.
I found a picture of me and my dog, Corky Porky Pie. It took hours to get it ready for public viewing, though. After all, I had to skinny it, airbrush it and remove several years’ worth of facial wrinkles. Corky is very particular about how he looks out on the ‘net.
Since I didn’t have my own URL to link to, I followed the site’s instructions to upload it into their URL. That took about 10 seconds. When I clicked the button to save it, nothing happened. I spent the rest of the morning re-reading the instructions and trying them from different angles.
I’m at a loss how to get a picture into the profile page. Or even why to do it. And do I care? Probably not.
There’s one last thing to try. I hope you’ll pardon me if I include my picture in this blog. Maybe the computer will understand what it’s doing and it’ll pull my photo from here and paste it into my profile page. I sure hope so.
If not, I’m just going to give up. After all the frustration I’ve endured, it would be more fun to go lick frosting off a sharp knife.