Monday, July 16, 2007

Technologically Impaired

By C.L. Beck
© 2007

Technology befuddles me. I think that's a gal thing—meaning women are genetically predisposed to never understand technological instructions. Why? Because they’re usually written by men.

Most gals instinctively grasp the important things in life—like how to shave their underarms with a dull, albeit pink-colored razor and not end up wearing Band-Aids on their armpits for the next month. We understand how much fuzz we can let build up in the dryer’s lint trap before it sets the house on fire. We even know how to lick chocolate frosting off a sharp steak knife.

Okay, I take that last one back. Licking anything off a sharp knife generally gives you a forked tongue. This is fine if you want to resemble a boa constrictor, but otherwise …

What some of us (meaning me) don’t understand is a page of written instructions that makes no sense, and then when you finally figure them out, they still don’t work. It’s not the logic in the instructions that’s the problem. It’s the lack of it.

A couple of days ago, I wanted to post a picture into my blogging profile. According to knowledgeable sources—that would be either Paul Harvey or Sesame Street; I can’t remember which—it’s a good idea for a writer to have a photo of themselves on their blogging site.

I found a picture of me and my dog, Corky Porky Pie. It took hours to get it ready for public viewing, though. After all, I had to skinny it, airbrush it and remove several years’ worth of facial wrinkles. Corky is very particular about how he looks out on the ‘net.

Since I didn’t have my own URL to link to, I followed the site’s instructions to upload it into their URL. That took about 10 seconds. When I clicked the button to save it, nothing happened. I spent the rest of the morning re-reading the instructions and trying them from different angles.

I’m at a loss how to get a picture into the profile page. Or even why to do it. And do I care? Probably not.

There’s one last thing to try. I hope you’ll pardon me if I include my picture in this blog. Maybe the computer will understand what it’s doing and it’ll pull my photo from here and paste it into my profile page. I sure hope so.

If not, I’m just going to give up. After all the frustration I’ve endured, it would be more fun to go lick frosting off a sharp knife.


Tristi Pinkston said...

If you'd feel comfortable sending me your username and password, I can upload it for you. Pop me a note at

ali said...

SO neat to see a picture of you Cindy! Now, if only I could see it more clearly - though that was probably part of your devious plan.

When I actually get to meet you one day, I'll be sure to look to see if you have a forked tongue, and if you do ... I'll know why!!

C. L. Beck said...

Thanks so much for reading and for the offer to upload my photo. I've tried everything I can think of, so I would LOVE to take you up on it. I'll send you an email.

C. L. Beck said...

Yup, that was part of my devious plan, for Corky Porky Pie and I to only be semi-recognizable.

I've never fancied the idea of a cyber-stalker taking a liking to my dog and kidnapping him.:-)

Thankthss for readinthg. (Oops, it's that danged forked tongue causing problems again)

G. Parker said...

Looks like you got the photo in! Now you just need to attach it to your profile. If you want any help, let me know. I finally got one in mine this morning. sigh.

Stephanie said...

Glad to see a picture of you and attach a face to the name. Good luck with the photo thing. This whole technology business is just trial and error for me too.

C. L. Beck said...

Thanks for the offer to help. It must have been the extra brainwaves from you and Tristi that did it, because I just NOW, finally got it to put the photo in my profile.

My intention was for the picture to be changed someday, when something better came along.

HA! Yeah, right. Like I'm gonna tangle with the blogger computer again.:-)

Thanks for reading, as well as the offer to help.

C. L. Beck said...

Thanks for stopping by to read. I wouldn't tell just anyone this because it's a secret. However, not only do I dislike computers, but I have no clue how to program the VCR.

Okay, it's not really a secret, but I wanted you to feel special. You're the first person that I've told that to ... today.:-)

Keith Fisher said...

Great Blog. by the way all of your readers you can see a picture of the whole group at
(boy that's a long url)
Glad to see you got your picture in. I always thought you didn't want to do that or I would have helped you long ago.

Nichole Giles said...

Wow, I'm so glad to finally get to see Corky Porky Pie! I've heard so much about him, I feel like we're related.

I'm glad to see you got it all figured out, and that so many people were willing to help. Aren't authors a great bunch of people?

Oh, and by the way, the reason the instructions are so hard is not only because they were written by men, but also because they were written by men who write (and think) in computer language!


C. L. Beck said...

Oh yes,I forgot about those pictures of our blogger group at your website. I went out and looked at them again. My favorite is the one of us from our "other side"!

Thanks for reading and the offer to help with my computer struggles.

C. L. Beck said...

If I'd known you were anxious to meet Corky Porky Pie, I'd have put the picture out here long ago!

In fact, maybe I should just put a picture of Corky and forget one of me. All my books could be authored by Corky Porky Pie Beck.:-)

Thanks for reading and for commenting. And yes, our group of authors are great ... they're always willing to help.

Darvell Hunt said...

Corky Porky Pie, huh? Wow. That's a mouthful. What do his friends call him?

I bet it sounds something like: Roughrough Roughrough Ruff.

Hey, come to think about it, my dog seems to know your dog's name. In fact, my dog seems to be saying your dog's name in Doggese just about every night! Wow, I didn't know they were acquainted.


C. L. Beck said...

Wow, you understand Dog-ese? I am impressed.

And in return let me just say, "RUFF!"

(That's Dog-ese for, "Thanks for reading.")

Rebecca Talley said...

Technology befuddles me, too. I enjoyed your post.