By Nichole Giles
I am the queen of hesitation. An opportunity comes up and I ho-hum around it, skirt the issue, and do my best to think of reasons why I shouldn’t grab that opportunity and run with it. Even after hesitating, usually I am unable to talk myself out of a good thing, but every once in a while, I do.
For instance, I’ll bet no one knows how much I hesitated to go to the first LDStorymakers Writer’s Conference almost two years ago—because, that would mean admitting I was a writer, of course. And then, a few months later, I hesitated to go to the BYU Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers conference. What is my problem? Attending those conferences was possibly the best available remedy to my hesitancy for admitting how badly I want to write.
This month, I realized I’ve hesitated yet again. There is another important conference coming up. In three weeks. I’ve heard about this one, known it was coming, and yet had decided against going because it’s in another town—even though the drive is only four hours, and I have relatives in that city. But then, I realized I really want to take classes from some of the presenters, and decided to pay the extra fee for late registration. Talk about fickle!
I’ve realized something recently. There are days that go by when nothing makes any sense. Then there are days when everything seems to fall into place perfectly, and the world seems to go in a straight line. People come and go in your life, and sometimes, you have no idea why. They might say a few words, mention a great story, give a few words of advice or simply give you support you didn’t even know you needed, and suddenly your creative side is bursting. The story you’ve wanted to write all your life is within your grasp, and now you are able to get to work on it.
I may be bursting to write it, but my new story idea is daunting nonetheless. I know it will require dedication and the digging up of emotions I’d rather not have to feel, but I also realize that these are the things that will make it good.
So I’m going to this conference, listening to these presenters, and jumping at the chance to write this new story as quickly as I am able. And this time I’m giving myself a non-breakable deadline because one of these days the world is going to start making sense again.
Ugh. What will happen to me then?