The Ugly Monster

By Ali Cross

Probably like writing mothers everywhere, I’m holding my breath waiting for school to start and the opportunity to get myself into a good writing groove. The difference for me is that I homeschool my children. So the beginning of school doesn’t mean that I have oodles of free time in which to write in blissful silence. What it does mean, though, is that we have a routine, and I thrive on routine.

We are late starters in the morning, though this year’s workload may mean we need to get started before ten a.m., but we never go later than two in the afternoon. I finish up with a little housework and then, around three o’clock, I sit down to write. I give myself from 3:00-5:00 while the boys run outside to play, finally free for the day.

I put my headphones on, put on whatever music my muse wants to hear that day, and write, write, write. At least, that’s what worked for me last year.

I’m feeling a little nervous that things will be different this year. Maybe I imagined how well it went for me and now that I have deadlines and such, I’ll find I can’t do it. That ugly monster FEAR is looming his misshapen head and scaring the bejeebies out of me.

What if I can’t find the time to write after all? What if I don’t have anything good to write, anyway? I could go on and on . . . those “what if’s” are scary!

No matter our circumstances—a working father who has to fit his writing time into the wee hours of a day, a young mother who feels she is never free of little ones who need her and has to write in fifteen-minute increments—we are all faced with challenges that hamper our writing. We all have fear and doubt clamoring for a place in our hearts.

But being a writer invariably imbues us with another quality that has the power to see us through all the rough spots—hope.

We writers are tough. We’re resilient. We keep on keepin’ on. I’m sure you can think of a dozen more colloquialisms that would all fit here.

The point is, regardless of our circumstances, each day presents us with the opportunity to try, try again. Be a writer and write. Whether you have five minutes or five hours in which to do it, just write and you’ll be the happier for it.

Whew. I feel better now.