by C. Michelle Jefferies
My newsfeeds, email, newsletters and blog rolls are full of them.
Resolutions and goals, and all sorts of things associated with the new year rolling around.
Do they make you feel guilty? They do me.
I have been in search of direction and balance for years. It is a thing that eludes me and causes all sorts of guilt and stress in my life. Last year my word of the year was balance. And while I achieved some, I still felt guilty almost every time I thought of the word and the things I was associating with it.
It's been a hectic year. From tons of medical problems and financial stressors to discovering that someone I thought was a serious friend was a fake, my year was a long slow torturous trip through the netherworld. Every moment of this year seemed to throw me more and more out of synch with my idea of who I am and especially my vision who I wanted to be. Often times I was grateful I made it through the day and my only thought as I collapsed into my bed at night was that I hoped to survive the next day as well. My search for balance was making my life harder than it needed to be. What was I supposed to do? Not making goals seemed to be a great alternative.
But the thought of meandering through life without a goal in sight seemed to evoke images of wandering through a overgrown jungle without a map or a machete.
I happened upon a blog post a few weeks ago which basically said that instead of searching for balance, which actually deprives us of life's ups and downs, we should instead search for alignment.
I am in the process of reading several blog posts about self care and things like visualizing success instead of just setting a goal and then worrying about it. I hope to delve into these thoughts as we progress through the year.
So what does it mean to be in alignment instead of seeking balance?
Show me one road on this planet that doesn't turn and curve on its way to its destination. Sure we're still going in the direction of where we want to, or need to go, but what good is the ride if you don't enjoy the scenery? What is the fun of walking a straight line when your focus is on making sure that everything on both sides of you at that exact moment is equal. Show me one river that doesn't meander. Show me one dance, painting, piece of music or story that doesn't have a natural ebb and flow.
We as humans weren't made for balance, we were made to twist and turn, to be high and low, to love and hate all within moments of the other. It's what we are. It's what defines us as being alive. It's enjoying the turns and variances on that road to wherever we're going.
For me this next year, I will be bucking the thought of balance, instead I will be making sure I am in alignment with my end of the year expectations and will remind myself to enjoy the detours that life naturally takes.
The path to wisdom is not always straight