Friday, June 12, 2009

Crossroads


by G.Parker

Lately, my life has come to a crossroads. I have to decide what it is I'm going to do about writing. I'm either going to grip the bull by the horns, so to speak, and get on the ball; or I'm going to stop writing and put away all the manuscripts that are piling up that need revisions.

I've grown tired and somewhat depressed, and I'm ready to quit. I don't normally think of myself as a quitter. Sometimes I am liable to be lazy, but I usually get things done.

But in contemplating the past two years of writing and what's been produced, I have had to take a deeper look at my abilities. Am I really capable of writing something worth publishing? Can I write anything at all that isn't full of holes and need lots of revisions before it's even suitable for submission? I don't know anymore.

The sinking empty hole in my stomach informs me that I'm not ready to give up writing yet. There's too much of my soul wrapped around the written word for me to toss it all aside.

I figure there are more people like me out there -- I know I'm not that unique or special among the society of writers. What is it that kept you at it when the hour seemed the darkest? Why was it worth it to keep plugging away at the keyboard when there didn't seem any use in it?

I guess my motivation is that I feel something would slowly die inside if I pushed that part of me away and locked it up. I also don't want to give my children an example of quitting -- perhaps they will learn from this struggle I am having and do better.

Somewhere there has to be a silver lining.

3 comments:

Evelyn Curtis said...

Well, I haven't been writing long enough to really have experienced a dark period. I'm not entirely consistent with my goals. But I do have to say, when I do write, I love it. I enjoy making up a character that could be considered near to perfect, with some minor flaws (since none of us are perfect).

When I first started writing to compose a story, I let some people read what I had written. They didn't say it was bad, but they didn't say it was good either. I stopped writing for a few months! I was being hard on myself because my writing was not immediately publisher material. But I started reading up on other author's success, and I came to understand that I needed to be writing, not to be published, but for me. A story written exactly how I would want a story to go. Something I am passionate about.

Anyway, I feel extremely awkward now. I am not experienced enough to through out advice. Just take it as me relating the best I can to you. Feel better. It will get better. After all, it is your blog post I look forward to the most (I don't lie). No offense anyone else. :)

Chantele said...

I feel the same way. I haven't been writing for a really long time, but I look at my work, and think, "Is this good enough to be published someday?" I honestly don't know, but I will keep trying. It is so hard, but even if I have to write ten books or more to finally get that "one" good enough to publish, I am going to do it. I can't stop writing. It's in my blood now, and even though I get discouraged, I take a break for a day or so, and start getting the writing itch again. Hang in there. You are good enough!;) I really enjoy your posts! I don't really know a whole lot about advice, but hopefully you have a better day!:)

L.T. Elliot said...

DON'T GIVE UP.

I know you feel real close to the edge right now but don't do it. I've followed along on this blog for over a year now and I can tell you right now, you're a writer--through and through. I know how hard it is. I know it seems like an insurrmountable task but trust me on this one: you can do it. One more day, one day at a time. 15 minutes at least. And if you doubt, just send me an email and I'll remind you that you're worth it. You can do this. Don't give up.
All my very best,
Laura
ltelliot@live.com