He Muttered, She Spluttered

The Story of Edgar and Belinda
By Darvell Hunt

“Oh, Edgar, I think I love you!” Belinda spluttered.

“Belinda, I’m no good for you. I’m too dangerous,” Edgar communicated.

“Will you meet me in the clearing after school today, Edgar? I want to make out!” chuckled Belinda.

“I really don’t want to play baseball today, if that’s what you mean. You could just die if I looked too harshly at you, you know,” Edgar warned. “I’m just too powerful.”

“Do you like motorcycles?” questioned Belinda.

“Why can’t I hear what you’re thinking, Belinda?” Edgar pondered.

“I think I like motorcycles,” Belinda clamored.

“I’d just die if you died,” Edgar reported.

“I love the thrill of riding a motorbike with the wind blowing all around me,” Belinda exploded.

“I’d kill myself if you died, like Romeo did when Juliet died,” Edgar growled.

“Ever tried cliff diving, Edgar?” Belinda queried.

“Just like Romeo, I’d try to kill Paris if he wanted to kiss Juliet,” Edgar expressed. “Did you ever see that movie An American Werewolf in Paris?”

“I like trucks, especially old ones that have the radios ripped out and get terrible gas mileage,” Belinda gushed.

“I hate werewolves. They’re scary!” Edgar muttered. “And they stink, too.”

“Biology class is boring, don’t you think? I learned all that stuff at my last school already,” Belinda stated.

“Do you know how old I am?” Edgar stuttered. “I’m older than you think!”

“I felt so ugly at my last school. Nobody liked me there,” Belinda admitted. “It’s nice here. Everybody wants to be my boyfriend. I’m not sure why. I’m the popular plain girl.”

“Arrghh, I’m dangerous!” Edgar cried.

“How come you have a kitchen table in your kitchen, but no beds in your bedrooms?” Belinda verbalized.

“Oh, I’m so dangerous, I could crack you like a twig,” Edgar grimaced. “But I’d never do that. I’ll kill myself before I did that.”

“You sure go camping a lot,” Belinda whispered.

“I can run faster than a cheetah and climb trees like the ninja masters in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” Edgar expounded.

“Exactly what color of eyes DO you have, anyway?” Belinda twirped.

“Oh, but I sure do love you, Belinda,” Edgar yammered.

“Huh? Oh. Yah,” Belinda hollered. “Me too. Right back atcha!”

They embraced and kissed, but Edgar accidentally bit her lip.